YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
