My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
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making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
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I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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