we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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