I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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