dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
