I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
