FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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