Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
