Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
