love makes seman taste better
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
