my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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