My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
