are you still at the devil's house?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
