haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
