I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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