I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
