Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
