Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize