She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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