): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
