u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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