I love black thongs
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I touched a dick in church today
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
