Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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