I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
