DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
3pm strippers are depressing
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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