Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Its about making memories worth repressing
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
