It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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