Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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