Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
