I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
A+ Viking dick
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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