just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
