I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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