If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
