I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
