dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
