I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
