Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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