Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
