sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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