Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
