he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She bit a glass in half.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize