That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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