she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
