we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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