Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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