That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
