I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
