K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
