your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
