Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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