Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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