i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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