the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
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