I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
