This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
