Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
