There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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