All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
