she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
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remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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