And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
