i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
