How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
