So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
