I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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