Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Never joke about your clitoris.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
